WHY WE WROTE THE BOOK

(Click here to view our book launch on Time Warner's CitiCable 3)

Women are being told to accept lies.  The lie that you are supposed to love being single.  The lie that if you do not love being single, you do not love yourself.  We wrote the book to say: It is okay that you would rather be married than single.  It is okay that being single is not how you thought your life would be.  It is okay that you do not want to have to do it all, all alone, all the time.  It is okay to feel that you would be happier in a loving, nurturing marriage. In fact, The Truth About Being Single is in our biology.  The 'Truth' is all around us.  Just turn on your television - "Millionaire Matchmaker," "The Bachelor" and "The Bachelorette," all prove The Truth About Being Single.  Generally speaking, people do not want to be.   

One of the many reasons we decided to write The Truth About Being Single was hearing some things that really annoyed us. One in particular occurred on a talk show with a 37 year old guest, Karen.  Karen is attractive, physically fit, has a great job and had several interests but was not happy about being single.  Despite having a very full life, she was lonely, and desired to share her life with someone who would love and cherish her.  She was not sitting around whining about her situation but she was clearly and simply stating she wished her life was different.

What was shocking to us was it appeared that the host and her special guest, a mysterious psychological guru type, told Karen she was feeling lonely because she had not opened herself up to what "the universe" had in store for her.  Adding insult to injury, he further told her that insisting on the idea of wanting to be married was a "limitation of her focus" and she should let the "universe" guide her.  Then the host and the guru jointly suggested she should let go of her "ideas" of what would make her happy, and open herself up to "the universe."  Well, we were as confused as Karen.

What we found most unfortunate was that Karen's feelings were not in any way validated.  She was made to appear foolish for stating she felt her life would be happier in a happy, loving marriage.  We thought that was very wrong and knew we had to do something about it.

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WHAT READERS ARE SAYING ABOUT OUR BOOK

“Your book really hit the nail on the head.  I thoroughly enjoyed reading it.  It was simple, honest and thoughtful.  I saw myself in its pages.”

Serena

Redondo Beach, CA

AMEN SISTER!!!  What an appropriately titled book.  It’s the “Truth” plain and simple.  I laughed and even cried at one point as I saw myself, and those around me, in the pages of the book.  This book validates what many of us singles feel and gives hope for the future.  There is nothing wrong with us because we are single and want to be married. Being a single 30-something with a successful career, I find myself constantly defending and justifying my “singleness” to all my married friends, not to mention spending a small fortune on all the wedding showers, baby showers…etc., all the while wondering if and when it will be my turn.  Thank you Lakeshia and Neva for putting into words what so many of us feel and giving us a voice!"

Jacquelyn

Orange County, CA

“I laughed - I cried.  I loved this book!  It is small but packs a POWERFUL punch!”

Lori

San Pedro, CA

“While sitting on my bed, I began to read the book, and continued from beginning to end.  I felt the book touched on the sore subject of singleness that single women – especially those who have been single well into their 30's, 40's and beyond can relate to - the social stigmatism and pressure that it must be our fault that we are single and all the tired out messages we receive from well-meaning friends that instead of being up building only tear down the thin layers self-esteem that keep us hanging on to that four letter word called H-O-P-E. I saw my own thoughts and feelings on the book in my hands.  I saw some of my single friends and their struggles, and in the end I felt justified for wanting something so natural.  You can't believe how well the timing of this gift was for me.”

Natalie

Brooklyn, NY

“Reading the book was like reading common sense that was not common.  This book is a self-esteem booster and doesn't make you feel bad for wanting to be in a relationship to reach the climax of true happiness. Thanks for putting into words what has been on all our minds.  It was great that the book was short and to the point. We are so busy these days and it was an easy read.  I would recommend this book to everyone who wants great advice that is to the point and very helpful.”

Holly

Torrance, CA

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TELL US

HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT BEING SINGLE?

While researching information for the book, we prepared and distributed a questionnaire which was designed to inquire of women from various cultures, ages and stages of life what their true feelings are about being single.  (A sample questionnaire follows.)  

You will read some of the responses in the book, all of which have been taken verbatim from the questionnaires as we received them.  We are sure that you will relate to at least one of the participating women. 

We found that in speaking to women, they could clearly identify and verbalize their feelings about being single.  However, we also noticed that when they heard themselves, they became extremely self-conscious, often times even stating that in today's society, modern women are supposed to be independent, self-sufficient in every way and not need a man for any reason, not even love.  We thought they would be so relieved if they could simply give themselves permission to say that they wanted to be in a loving relationship and did not want to be single.  That they did not want to do it all, all alone, all the time.

Try answering the questions yourself. Seeing your answers on paper will no doubt be enlightening. Though there are several questions, the main point of the questionnaire is to have you answer:

 HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT BEING SINGLE?

Name:  _______________________________

Age:  ______

Occupation:  __________________________

 

1. Do you want to be married?        

2. In your vision of you, did you see yourself married at an earlier age?

3. How does your particular culture view singleness?

4. Are most of your friends married or single? 

5. How does it make you feel when questioned: 'Why are you still  single?"

6. What qualities would you most look for in a prospective mate?

7. What value do you place on marriage and what does it represent to you?

8. Overall, how do you feel about being single?

(Copy and paste the QUESTIONNAIRE into MS WORD or any other text editing tool)

We would love to see your answers. Please email your responses to the email addresses indicated below:

Lakeshia Rivers Ekeigwe

lakeshia@thetruthaboutbeingsingle.com;

Neva Lockhart

neva@thetruthaboutbeingsingle.com

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