To live authentically, you must know exactly who you are at your core. You must know what is true for you personally, what you need and what you offer. Living authentically means living truthfully. It means fully being who you are. The word authentic is defined as “not false or imitation: real’; ‘true to ones own personality or character.” Synonyms are “genuine; being actually and exactly what is claimed.”

There are 3 Key Steps to Living an Authentic Life

1. Establish a STRONG PERSONAL FOUNDATION
You can never have a strong personal foundation without doing the work of knowing exactly who you are. There are some things every woman must know about herself. Minimally, you must know what you can and cannot do, and what you will and will not do.
2. Establish STRONG BOUNDARIES
Having strong boundaries is actually a two-way state of being. Your boundaries will dictate how you require people to treat you, and what you require of yourself in the way you treat others. Some people view having strong boundaries as a negative. In actuality, it is a positive and a gift. Others will always know what to expect from you (i.e., being dignified and respected) with the understanding that you require reciprocity.
3. Eliminate TOLERATIONS
Tolerations are energy drains. You can never be the best of who you are when your energy is depleted. Think about things you are tolerating and eliminate them. Most people have anywhere from 50 to 200 things they are tolerating, i.e., money issues, toxic friends, needing to get your oil changed.

If you are ready to start living authentically and ready to live your vision of you, I welcome the opportunity to help you do that. My upcoming 3-week telecourse – The Truth About Being Authentic, Empowered & Aware (click here) begins May 15, 2012. This course will provide you with coaching and tools to help you do just that.

Self-Esteem Boosting Tips Nos 7-10

Self-Esteem Tip No. 7 – Give honest, heartfelt compliments to others. At least one person every day. You will both feel great because you did so.

Self-Esteem Tip No. 8 – Keep cards, notes and emails received from those who love and appreciate you where you can access them easily and often.  Read them over and over again, especially when you need a little pick me up.

Self-Esteem Tip No. 9 – List awards and gifts you have been given and how you felt when you received them.

Self-Esteem Tip No. 10 – Buy yourself some flowers every week.  Even a simple bouquet of Daisies can do the trick.  They don’t have to be expensive, just cheery and something that makes you feel loved.

Self-Esteem Boosting Tips Nos 4-6

Self-Esteem Tip No. 4 – Refuse to engage in negative self-talk. Sometimes we speak to ourselves, about ourselves, in ways we would never speak to another person. When a negative thought shows up, consciously choose to shift that thought to something you like about yourself and then create opportunities to share the best of who you are.

Self-Esteem Tip No. 5 – Spend some time with your closest friends and family and share with them what you love and respect about them. Then, have them do the same for you. This simple exercise is very powerful and just might change your life.

Self-Esteem Tip No. 6 – Understand what a real FRIEND truly is. Remove so-called ‘friends‘ who tear you down aka frienemies. Do not share your goals, dreams or passions with them. They will hurt you and damage your self-esteem.

Self-Esteem Boosting Tips Nos 1-3

Self-Esteem Tip No. 1 – Do at least one thing for yourself every day that feels loving: quiet time; walking on the beach; listening to your favorite music or reading a great book. Self-love will boost your self-esteem tremendously!

Self-Esteem Tip No. 2 – Acknowledge your accomplishments and the things you do every day to add value to the lives of others. Celebrate You!

Self-Esteem Tip No. 3 – Graciously accept and embrace compliments you receive. Don’t dismiss them. Instead, honor that someone has shared what they appreciate and value about you. Write them down and read them when you feel your self-esteem could use a boost.

The Truth About Being Single is that you should relish in being the woman you are.  You never have to resort to trickery, deception or thinking like something you are not.  You are beyond enough.  Your intuition will guide you.  Listen to your inner voice, that whisper of your own personal truth.  Doing so will serve you.

Yes, being advised to think like a man strips you of self-trust.  Self-trust, among other things, is the innate ability you were born with to think for yourself, as yourself – a woman.

Along with self-trust, you have intuition.  Intuition is that inner voice that whispers to you that something is just not right about the man you are dating or in a relationship with.  Like, he does not meet my minimum standard requirements; he will not be long-term; he is not going to be the best thing for me nor does he have my best interests at heart; he does not seem to like who I am.  And, worst of all, I KNOW he does not love me.

Every woman we have ever spoken with, and we do mean EVERY, always knew that the last relationship they were in was going to end.  They pushed down the whisper that said this is not working for me.  They ignored their inner voice until the situation became a giant screaming monster.  If they had tapped into their intuition; honored themselves by valuing self-trust; listened to their own feminine thoughts, they would have at a minimum not wasted their time and energy with Mr. Right Now and protected themselves from the pain of another relationship that did not work out.

I can guarantee that you have never heard a woman in a successful, long-term, happy relationship say she got there by thinking like a man.  More likely than not, the secret to her success was that the man she is with was attracted to her, wanted her, wooed her and won her.  He pursued her.  He treated her with dignity and respect.  Most importantly, he demonstrated in word and deed that he loved her.  Ladies, the truth is this, to ‘Think Like A Man’ is really just another game playing strategy.  Anytime anyone suggests you think like something you are not, they are asking you to take away from what and who you are and to put on something you are not.  In finding true love, game playing strategies do not work.

Continuing the conversation about thinking like a man, something else you should consider ladies is this, things usually end the way they start.

Please do believe this ‘old wise’ saying.  We have seen it proven true time and again – things usually do end the way they start.  If you are trying to think like a man now, during the early stages (or any stage) of dating or a relationship, chances are you will have to continue to do so.  The concept of thinking like a man (which really, since we are women and not men is creating essentially a ‘best guess’ scenario), could lead to a wide range of miscommunications and misunderstandings.

For example, you may impute wrong motives to the man in your life that are simply not there because you are woman, trying to think like a man, who in reality thinks like a woman.  Keep doing that, and you may not have a man to “think like.”

Think for yourself.  Think ‘like’ yourself.

What woman on earth has the desire to put on the male mind?

We want to be with a male mind that is inhabited in a male body.

We want men who think like men, and men who think women, in all their feminine glory are beautiful complements to their masculinity.

We want to be our most feminine selves with the men we love and adore.

I know you would rather think like the woman you are.

In fact, when you consider everything it would take for a woman to think like a man, it actually brings up several questions:

• How do I think like a man?
• If I could think like a man, what exactly should I think about?
• Is there something wrong with me thinking like the woman I am?

To act like a lady (i.e., engage in behaviors displaying feminine energy and qualities) while you think like a man (i.e., strain your brain to decipher and decode the way the masculine mind works) is CONFUSING.

So, while you are eager to share your feminine self (mind, emotions, energy) with the man you are dating, you simultaneously have to put on a masculine thinking cap to ensure he does not use you or harm you emotionally.   It just doesn’t make sense.

Your internal compass, common sense, intuition, guiding principles (whatever you call it/them) is enough to help you reject the lies, become honest with yourself and never settle again.

Trust me.  You never need to think like a man!  Learn to trust yourself, honor your self-knowledge and think like the woman you are.  It works.